Follow the Yellow Brick Road...

Well, this Dorothy is ready to be home, and she is not wearing any ruby slippers, she just needs to get in the car and drive. Maybe I am not Dorothy, I am on some kind of journey, but it feels more like a chase...

One more day of this world: Measuring, noting changes in specifications, keeping the fit model happy, trying to maintain the balance of just being 'the temp'

It's hard. I think I have had a hard time being the full time temp because when things aren't permanent, I don't sink my teeth into them the same way. Even if it was the BEST peach, if I know I have to give half of it to my crummy brother, then it's NOT the best peach, y'know?

So I have been extra homesick, I have been extra critical of the job, fellow employees, the system at my workplace, without really being honest to myself about the good things. I worked with an excellent team, and fell into rhythm with the staff very quickly, and if I felt secure in my position, I might have thrived on the challenges, the problem solving demanded, the lack of structure and support for matrices and tracking, because all those things are things I LOVE to deal with daily. But when you know that you solve their problem and then walk away, without any of the positive turnaround, without knowing if someone will unhinge all your work, without knowing that the process will be adhered to responsibly, it makes things just seem daunting, instead of hella awesome, the way I usually see challenges. It's weird that I get all jonesed up about organizing things, since I am a scatterbrain, but I also love puzzles, which is how i try to approach these things. I just want people to care about the solution. I guess it would be like giving up a puppy that you took care of- I'm not even going to think of equating it to giving up a kid, because frankly that's crazy (I don't think ANYONE loves their job THAT much and if you do, you have problems!) Since I knew my job was finite, it was easy to just see all these issues as issues- things which were wrong, and not have the time to fix it, and so I just saw it as negative features of the business. I will remember that this was a mindset to make it easier to let go, not a true reflection of the workplace.

I need to perk up my attitude for my return to The Castle (my old retail haunt, where I will be working part time to subsidize my picky job desires). I need to address my current job situation like a puzzle, and throw an amazing solution (i.e.: me) at all the problems (i.e. job openings) I encounter, with killer resume and kicking style (thank you The Castle, for giving me back my discount immediately, so I can rebuild wardrobe).

One person I love told me I look like Mae Whitman from a new movie where she plays a long lost love interest. She and another love interest fight for the spoils. I will turn this short lived job into a scorned lover, a fling that I not only think on, feel motivated by, and unwisely decide determines my whole life's unravelings. I will use this job to catapult to unreasonable successes, unmeasurable in the natural world. I will refuse to become a cartoon gravity statistic, and I will survive, move forward, and be awesome. Mainly I just wanted to shout out thanks for the compliment, because Mae is a fox, and I think I maybe have the hair. I'm feeling a little zany, so this turned into a ramble, a slightly determined manifesto not to give up, but not be discouraged either. The reality is that the coyote has always loved roadrunner, and I will love this job, when it comes to me at the right time. I will keep chasing it, and I will work harder on looking like a superhero saucepot while doing it.

That's all f.olks

Que Sera

These are a few little crafty goodies I have been playing around with, I bought a felting tool from a crazy quilt shop in the mountains recently, and these are a couple of things I made.... a work in progress, I am sure you all understand... (The one with the word says RUBY, but the camera flipped the image, and my photo editor doesn't have a mirror flip option, so just deal with it!)

I am encouraged in my pursuit of design by several things:

• My art teacher in high school who gave many practical job listings which someone could do which involved art- he pushed you to pursue the marketable nature behind being a hippy dippy pie in the sky creative type
  
• Watching FTV and style.com, you learn that designers often dress far worse than their brains create for others- I have the first part down...
• I love other things too. Meaning if I don't create the next big thing, I will still find something I love to do (I'm even okay if it takes awhile)
• I can (and likely will) jump on board the Etsy train when I finally settle down enough to make some goodies
  
• Some mischief making friends of mine have big plans for a weird creative statement, that I would love to take part in. Think 'Fight Club' project mayhem, but with PRETTY instead of DESTRUCTIVE

What keeps you going? How do you know you are doing what you should be doing?

Back to the Grindstone

Well. Abandonment makes the heart grow fonder I suppose...But I am back. and soon things will be 'back to normal' whatever that means...

After weeks of working with a design team, here are the things I have learned:

• Measuring garments may be monotonous, but seeing things change each time the manufacturer sends them back is in the long run exciting
• Different buyers have different expectations from Spec Technicians. Some of them want your feedback on things such as style, colour, relevance to the target customer. Others think they know best and don't care for feedback
  
• Spec Technicians and buyers often don't agree on what the target customer wants
• Some manufacturers never listen, never learn, and refuse to improve
• Buyers should know their manufacturers, and follow through on canceling when they still have time to buy other product, instead of pushing through product which is not good because they have to have SOMETHING to sell.
  

It's interesting to see the politics and the decisions that have to be made in order to fill stores with clothes. The ins and outs of the work room, all the people coordinating the shipments, orders, and delivery from manufacturer to warehouse to store, it all is a lot more clear than it was in school. It has been the movement from the theoretical to the real, applied experience.

It has been invaluable. Really sad that it won't turn into something longer term, but not the end of the world, because I have been WICKED homesick and weekends have been spent just being lazy and hanging out at home because it's HOME. I think it has been worse because I get to come home each week. If it was farther, I think it may be easier, because I would get used to being away. Which is why I am expanding my search for textile related jobs to everywhere... if I have to be away, maybe it would be better to be FAR away, and stuck there for awhile.

I know that in order for my career to advance, I will likely need to be away from my world for a long period of time. I know that it will be lonely and sometimes discouraging, and the money will probably suck. Bear and I have not decided whether he would pack up and follow shortly after job is obtained, or if he would stay in Edmonton for long periods, or what may happen. We both know that depending on where this job may come from, and how much it pays, and where he is in school, and everything else in the mix of this, the answers may change. We're jumpers, not planners, so I think that deciding in the moment is just how we roll.

Have you ever lived away from what you consider to be your home, for work, temporary or to prepare for the permanent move? Words of wisdom?

The pictures today and what they mean to me, and my upcoming choices:
1) This photo is full of symbology (that's a real word, it's just a terrible word... but it's an inside joke to me, so deal with it) all that 'it's not the destination, it's the journey' jargon....
2) My bear, giving his best puppy dog eyes. In this picture he's asking for a baby, but its similar to the way he looks when I come home- happy to see me
3) This is from a big long trip I took alone last summer, and some beauty that came out of it: sometimes being away from home is awesome- This photo helps me remember that
3) Some clothes I have made, they are an important part of who I am- I learned some important lessons about my design process with these items. Plus my buddy is pretty gorgeous, no?
4) The wind will take me where it may.

Goals: Blog twice a week- once about design, once about my endeavors to get back on the volunteer train with my old community roots. So I will see you guys soon! (For real this time)!