Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Looking for my Lilypad

So. I am working in my field. The position I have is probably not long term, which makes me sad. It is not perfect by any means, but the longer I work here, the more likely I will prove I have the skills to work elsewhere. I am right now working endlessly trying to find my next step...

At my workplace, many of the staff I work with have identified themselves as planners: they like to know what they're doing in advance. If they are going to a city, they want a hotel booked, with a plan of things to do each day and maps of how to get from each activity.

When I try to plan things like this (for myself) I usually do things like: make a big book of all the things I want to see in all the countries I want to see, come up with the schedule, use a back portion of the notebook to record addresses of the people I know and love to send them post cards- basically come up with my own little 'sho.estring' guide...

And promptly forget the whole thing on the plane, under my bed, or in the airport. I talk a good game, and can even plan the whole thing. It's the execution that i fail at. And I know why...
I'm a leaper. My best decisions come out of just GOING. Just BEING. Just DOING. When I sit around and think about it, I get muddled in the many decisions and decide to do all of them, leading to an overstressed time crunch, leading to pretty much NONE of my plans working out.

So I leap. I am Francois the frog. Or Sabine, because that's a way nicer french name in my opinion. Anyways. Back to it- I leap... From one decision to the other. All that matters is that this next lilypad I am headed to happens to be above water for the time being. By the time it starts to sink from my weight, I will be two lilypads away.... And it works, because if I stop and think about it, thats when my world crashes around me.

While discussing this in the design room.... One of the designers told me she was having anxiety just thinking about how she would react under these circumstances.

That is why the world is so beautiful- I need people like her to reign me in, point out logic, reason, all those things which just don't come to mind when I'm sink or swimming.... and she needs me because I bring the whacky, the unexpected, reminding her that scheduling fun into the mix is important.

So I am looking for my next lilypad right now, applying everywhere from the government, jobs in the USA, jobs east and west, and of course some that land me right back in my pond next to my favorite bear (the DH, who I miss like nuts until our weekends of reunion.) Of course, I would prefer the perfect job at a place which works with design, and they're eco, and they're fashion forward, and kind of sporty, and committed to ethical treatment of factory workers in a very hands on way... Whether I will find that immediately is not going to stop me from pursuing every avenue I can find. It's not settling, it's a stepping stone.

So that's my world right now. I will tell you more about my job next time. Sorry I deserted everyone for so long!

P.s> This picture is from last summer. This geese family tends to nest right downtown, and then has to slowly migrate through traffic and parking lots and past countless startled suits to make their way to the river valley where they take their babies swimming... It's so cute, and causes quite the ruckus. It looks like I am not the only one who doesn't plan ahead and things still turn out ok!